Running a comedy night – even for a short time – is an interesting exercise if only to ascertain how annoying some comics can be. Annoying ticks can vary from cancelling last minute (just a few hours before an out-of-town gig via text is always a favourite); or deciding the gig is far too small for you and evidently not giving a shit as you perform on stage despite the fact no one in the audience – or the industry at large for that matter – knows who the hell you are; to slagging off the night and/or the promoter online, presumably in the belief they’ll never see it despite being friends on Facebook/mutual followers on Twitter and – here’s the best part- then asking for another gig.

Another annoying trait is when acts contact you in the mistaken belief that you’ve set up the gig solely so they can perform at it. The fact that someone runs a comedy night and you are a comic doesn’t mean they have to employ you. But it’s a weird mind-set that some comics have. I once had a new comic write to me and say ‘it would be logical for you to book me’. Having eventually seen her act, to be honest, it wasn’t.

When I once told a comic their act wasn’t right for my night they proceeded to tell me how wrong I was. As I’d run the club rather successfully for 7 years by then and they’d never been to it once I found this amount of self-entitlement/delusion quite staggering. I know my audience well. (So much so, I tend to know half of them by name!) I have to know my audience. It’s a small night and, as any promoter can tell you, although it can take ages to build up an audience, you only need to have a couple of nights that go pear shape before you start losing your regulars for good. But this particular comic was incandescent with rage that I’d said I didn’t want to book her and then defriended me from Facebook. (I survived the emotional trauma). Not surprisingly, neither the email nor the defriending changed my mind.

I’ve had acts try and be pushy with me which, given my personality, just means I’ll never book them; some have gone as far as lying about their career. It’s one thing to exaggerate to people outside the business; it’s another matter entirely to lie to those who work in the industry. Anyone in the business knows that if you’re an open spot then it’s highly unlikely you were the support act on tour for a high profile comic. What we suspect did happen is that you were on the bill when said high profile act was trying out new material one night.  Nor does doing one 10 minute open spot mean you are doing weekends at a bigger club. Believe me, it’s a very small business and comics/promoters talk to each other so we can easily check.

As a comic, I’ve been on the other side, of course, trying to get into clubs and seemingly being stonewalled. I remember on one occasion receiving an incredibly long email by a booker going into what I considered rather unnecessary detail about how unfunny they thought I was. To give them their due, they seemed to have spent an inordinately amount of time writing it. However, they finished their electronic epistle by offering me an open spot and told me it was my last chance. Despite their singular lack of encouragement, I had a great gig and the following day I got a phone call from them apologising for not having been that nice to me in the past and finally offering me work. The conversation was so long and friendly that half way through I started to wonder if they had rung the wrong person and were under the impression they were talking to somebody else.

So it can be frustrating, particularly when, and I’m probably not the only comic who has done this, you look at some of the comedians a particular club book and then feel slightly insulted that those comics are getting booked and you’re not. Alternatively, I’ve worked for promoters who don’t book comics that I think are amazing. On one occasion a promoter sidled up to me asking if they thought the opening act, an established circuit comic who was performing for the first time at their club, was any good. He’s tripling up with The Comedy Store and Up the Creek, I reassured them. He’ll be fine.

And although when you’re being rejected and/or ignored, it is sometimes hard not to feel this, often it’s nothing personal. It’s just there are a lot of comics out there, many of whom may be far more established than you; and to make matters worse there is an ever decreasing pool of work out there too. Consequently, promoters are spoilt for choice. And there are also a myriad of other factors why someone might not book you.  It might be the simple fact they haven’t seen you; or they may think you’re great but you’re not right for their gig; or they have a long list of comics on their list they prefer to book over you. The list is endless, and almost all promoters have their favourites. It might not seem fair if you’re not one of them, but all business is based on relationships and comedy is no different.

When I was first asked to book gigs I’d always book Shelagh Martin as the middle act simply because she was a great comedian and I loved her act, and she was also easy to work with. Believe me, when you’re in a car with someone for up to 6 hours having someone who is funny AND easy to work with is a massive plus.

Another reason which no comic wants to admit is that maybe they are not funny enough or not as funny as they think they are and/or experienced enough for the particular club they are trying to get into. As always, it’s much easier seeing that fault in other people rather than in yourself. After all, if we comics weren’t slightly deluded in the first place, more than likely we would have packed it all in after the first few gigs we ever did. But delusion is always the more striking when you encounter it coming from someone else. Years ago I remember one comic bemoaning the fact that she’d contacted The Comedy Store for a spot and they’d only offered her a spot on the King Gong. How long have you been going? I asked. About a year, she replied. Well, that will be why, I replied.

Then there is also the fact that if you’re unreliable; or you have a reputation for being a pain to work with or last time you gigged for them you didn’t turn up/turned up late/got pissed and talked at volume while the closing act was on (as a promoter, I’ve experienced all three scenarios with various acts), then again, it could really be personal after all. Never mind how funny you may or may not be.

So what to do? I heard the story of an established act who a well-respected club stopped booking because they said his material was always the same. What did he do? He didn’t get in a strop or have a rant on Facebook. He worked on his set, came back with another great 20 and is back working for the club. And I think that’s all you can do: carry on working; refine your material and your stage persona until it really is ‘logical for people to book you’.

Liked it? Take a second to support Maureen on Patreon!